Living abroad-expectations vs reality.
Hello again from Tokyo, where the leaves are slowly but surely changing from shades of green to shades of orange, yellow and red. Further north in Japan where it's colder, this has already happened, but it seems to be taking a while for it to happen here. I do love the autumn season, as I mentioned in my last blog, and I went to Kamakura on Thursday to try and catch a glimpse of it. It was unfortunately slightly too early as it has been kinda warm, but I'm sure the next few weeks will be nice. I plan to go to Mt Mitake on Thursday as the weather looks good, so stay tuned for that. Today is another expectations vs reality kind of post, and I wanted to touch on something that doesn't really get talked about a lot and that is the expectations people have when they plan to move abroad versus how it actually is when you go and live abroad. People have expectations of always travelling, trying new things, meeting new people all the time, and just generally having the best time ever when they move abroad. Reality is, it's not always like this. There are the less than glamorous moments, the homesick moments, the loneliness that come along with it too. Bear in mind that this is my experience living and WORKING, not studying in Japan. I can't speak for studying abroad, and I can't speak about other countries. So I'm gonna debunk some of the common myths or expectations about living abroad.
Expectation: You will travel all the time.
Reality: This is probably the most common misconception about living abroad; that you'll get to travel somewhere new every weekend and show off how much fun you're having on instagram all the time. Reality is, travelling is expensive- train tickets, accommodation and activity costs add up!-work gets in the way, and it burns you out! You need time to recharge, do day to day chores and just chill. Of course, there are chances to travel, don't get me wrong, and I've done a bit of travel around Japan this year, but it won't be like that all the time.
Expectation:You'll make heaps of local friends.
Reality: I have made a few Japanese friends, but it can be hard to find time to hang out when everyone's schedules are so different, and when there is a language barrier, building deeper friendships and having more in-depth conversations can be tough. Unless their English is decent, or you speak Japanese fluently, conversations tend to be a mix of broken Japanese from me and broken English from their side, and it can be hard to find common ground. You really do have to make an effort, and it won't happen as naturally as you think it will. Most of the people I would consider friends and not just acquaintances are fellow expats, which is fine, but I'm going to make a conscious effort to build more meaningful connections and friendships with Japanese too.
Expectation: Everyone you meet will stick around for as long as you will.
Reality: Speaking of friends, something I wasn't quite prepared for was friends leaving! People will come and go all the time, and it will be sad. You'll feel like you just met and then all of a sudden they'll leave, or maybe you will. A lot of the time, people don't know how long they'll stay living abroad, and maybe you don't either, so this is really a fleeting moment in the timeline of your life, and you may never see some of the people you meet again once they leave or once you do, because chances are, you come from all four corners of the globe. An obvious upside to this though is if you're travelling to their home country in the future, you have a tour guide waiting and ready to go!
Expectation: It'll be like being on holiday- going out every night, and no real responsibilities, because, hey, it's not your country, so who cares?
Reality: You're not really on holiday. You have day to day chores to do, either a job to go to or study to do, and bills to pay. You will have to learn the cultural rules and how things work, because otherwise you just look like a jerk. Just giving it to ya straight here.
I think I've been negative enough, now it's time for a bit more of a positive spin on things, so here we go...
Expectation: You'll never adapt to the new way of life.
Reality: Sometimes it can feel like you'll never adapt to this new place, new culture, and new way of living. I'm here to tell you that you will! Things won't always be as difficult as when you first arrive, you will learn bits and pieces of the language, or become fluent if you really work hard at it. You will be able to do things you thought you couldn't do and you will feel a bit more at home with each week and month that passes.
Expectation: You're scared you'll end up hating living abroad.
Reality: There are the tough times, sure, but living abroad will be one of the best decisions you ever made. You may not ever get this chance again, and if you fully embrace it, then it can be the most amazing experience. Cliche as it sounds, the experience is what you make it.
Expectation: You'll miss home a lot.
Reality: This is true, but as I mentioned before, you'll feel more at home abroad by the week, and 'home' will become a distant memory. When you do return, you'll have a greater appreciation for it. You learn to live without the things you miss from home too, even if you think you can't! Often, you can find little things that remind you of home in the country you're living in. For me, it's finding cafes that serve a decent coffee and have ANZAC biscuits and banana bread, and there are surprisingly a few here in Tokyo. At one of these cafes, one of the staff members actually lived in my hometown for 7 years! The world really is so small and a taste of home is never far away, no matter where you are in the world.
Expectation: You have to be fluent in the language to get by.
Reality: Fortunately, this is not true! You can get by living in another country not being completely fluent, trust me, especially if you're in a big city. Of course learning the language does help, but places like banks and ward/government offices have English help guides, and there's always Google translate and Google maps when you can't read the street signs, so thank goodness for technology.
Expectation: You'll be broke all the time.
Reality: Speaking from a working girl's perspective here, again not STUDYING abroad, I've actually managed to save a fair amount of money. My bills are usually fairly cheap, but with winter around the corner I'm sure my power bill will go up again. I try to make meals at home as much as I can, but also don't say no to a night out. If you're sensible with your money, you can manage to save a bit and have fun at the same time. Study may be a bit different as you're not earning money obviously, but if you save up enough beforehand, it should be doable.
So there you have it, a few things you may expect about living abroad compared to how it really is. Hope you enjoyed this post, and maybe if you are living abroad or have lived abroad you can relate to some of these things.
Can you believe it's now mid November? 10 months since I arrived in Japan! This year has just flown by and it's just over a month until I touch back down on NZ soil for Christmas break! I'm starting to get excited for long summer evenings, drinking NZ wines and spending time with family again. Can't wait!
Will catch you back here with another update soon,
From Japan with love,
Hannah xx
Expectation: You will travel all the time.
Reality: This is probably the most common misconception about living abroad; that you'll get to travel somewhere new every weekend and show off how much fun you're having on instagram all the time. Reality is, travelling is expensive- train tickets, accommodation and activity costs add up!-work gets in the way, and it burns you out! You need time to recharge, do day to day chores and just chill. Of course, there are chances to travel, don't get me wrong, and I've done a bit of travel around Japan this year, but it won't be like that all the time.
Expectation:You'll make heaps of local friends.
Reality: I have made a few Japanese friends, but it can be hard to find time to hang out when everyone's schedules are so different, and when there is a language barrier, building deeper friendships and having more in-depth conversations can be tough. Unless their English is decent, or you speak Japanese fluently, conversations tend to be a mix of broken Japanese from me and broken English from their side, and it can be hard to find common ground. You really do have to make an effort, and it won't happen as naturally as you think it will. Most of the people I would consider friends and not just acquaintances are fellow expats, which is fine, but I'm going to make a conscious effort to build more meaningful connections and friendships with Japanese too.
Expectation: Everyone you meet will stick around for as long as you will.
Reality: Speaking of friends, something I wasn't quite prepared for was friends leaving! People will come and go all the time, and it will be sad. You'll feel like you just met and then all of a sudden they'll leave, or maybe you will. A lot of the time, people don't know how long they'll stay living abroad, and maybe you don't either, so this is really a fleeting moment in the timeline of your life, and you may never see some of the people you meet again once they leave or once you do, because chances are, you come from all four corners of the globe. An obvious upside to this though is if you're travelling to their home country in the future, you have a tour guide waiting and ready to go!
Expectation: It'll be like being on holiday- going out every night, and no real responsibilities, because, hey, it's not your country, so who cares?
Reality: You're not really on holiday. You have day to day chores to do, either a job to go to or study to do, and bills to pay. You will have to learn the cultural rules and how things work, because otherwise you just look like a jerk. Just giving it to ya straight here.
I think I've been negative enough, now it's time for a bit more of a positive spin on things, so here we go...
Expectation: You'll never adapt to the new way of life.
Reality: Sometimes it can feel like you'll never adapt to this new place, new culture, and new way of living. I'm here to tell you that you will! Things won't always be as difficult as when you first arrive, you will learn bits and pieces of the language, or become fluent if you really work hard at it. You will be able to do things you thought you couldn't do and you will feel a bit more at home with each week and month that passes.
Expectation: You're scared you'll end up hating living abroad.
Reality: There are the tough times, sure, but living abroad will be one of the best decisions you ever made. You may not ever get this chance again, and if you fully embrace it, then it can be the most amazing experience. Cliche as it sounds, the experience is what you make it.
Expectation: You'll miss home a lot.
Reality: This is true, but as I mentioned before, you'll feel more at home abroad by the week, and 'home' will become a distant memory. When you do return, you'll have a greater appreciation for it. You learn to live without the things you miss from home too, even if you think you can't! Often, you can find little things that remind you of home in the country you're living in. For me, it's finding cafes that serve a decent coffee and have ANZAC biscuits and banana bread, and there are surprisingly a few here in Tokyo. At one of these cafes, one of the staff members actually lived in my hometown for 7 years! The world really is so small and a taste of home is never far away, no matter where you are in the world.
Expectation: You have to be fluent in the language to get by.
Reality: Fortunately, this is not true! You can get by living in another country not being completely fluent, trust me, especially if you're in a big city. Of course learning the language does help, but places like banks and ward/government offices have English help guides, and there's always Google translate and Google maps when you can't read the street signs, so thank goodness for technology.
Expectation: You'll be broke all the time.
Reality: Speaking from a working girl's perspective here, again not STUDYING abroad, I've actually managed to save a fair amount of money. My bills are usually fairly cheap, but with winter around the corner I'm sure my power bill will go up again. I try to make meals at home as much as I can, but also don't say no to a night out. If you're sensible with your money, you can manage to save a bit and have fun at the same time. Study may be a bit different as you're not earning money obviously, but if you save up enough beforehand, it should be doable.
So there you have it, a few things you may expect about living abroad compared to how it really is. Hope you enjoyed this post, and maybe if you are living abroad or have lived abroad you can relate to some of these things.
Can you believe it's now mid November? 10 months since I arrived in Japan! This year has just flown by and it's just over a month until I touch back down on NZ soil for Christmas break! I'm starting to get excited for long summer evenings, drinking NZ wines and spending time with family again. Can't wait!
Will catch you back here with another update soon,
From Japan with love,
Hannah xx
Comments
Post a Comment